Citizen of the World

As if Amendment One wasn't enough, the NC GOP had to take their hatred a step further and deem it appropriate to discriminate against us.

North Carolina GOP Platform Says Government Should Be Able To Discriminate Against Gays

While I understand dan4behr's concerns about a NC boycott (granted, the Target boycott didn't put any real dent in its bottom line) and the people who live there and are trying to build lives there, it still seems like an every-growing hostile place to live.  Why would we want to subsidize that kind of behavior and discrimination?

And I cannot believe that my family WANTS me to step foot in NC now.  They are hurt that I'm not willing to come to NC??  Are they not seeing what's going on?  Don't they comprehend that NC for Matthew and me is becoming a more and more hostile place for us?  They don't think they can do anything about it, but in my opinion, that's just being complacent.  No apologies.

It would be nice to know that my family is doing something against all this, but we no longer talk politics because they were offended at my campaign against NC Amendment One.  Offended!  They were offended that I was concerned about possibly not returning to NC because of blatant, legal discrimination against me, my partner/family, and us. Concerned enough to plea with them to do more than just vote against Amendment One - encourage their friends and churches and communities to vote against it, too.  I sent the same message to many friends, who understood where I was coming from. Yet, they felt bullied by a campaign letters addressed to them over the course of two days.  As this is my cross to bear, here's a picture:

• 1st nail in the cross: Amendment One.
• 2nd nail in the cross: At least two NC ministers - supported by their communities and congregations blindly speaking of killing gays in concentration camps.
• 3rd nail in the cross: The GOP proclamation-EXPLICITLY STATING-that they SHOULD BE ABLE TO DISCRIMINATE AGAINST GAYS

Who'd want to go to a place like that? Who'd want to purchase stuff from there?  The landscape is beautiful and I'll miss visiting.  I'm becoming less and less of a Tarheel at every turn of the newspaper's pages.

Because NC Amendment 1 passed with the language that would restrict protections for all unmarried couples (straight or gay), the courts are free to interpret the amendment to deny any protections to unmarried couples (straight or gay). The following points are true and have NOTHING to do with how my friends and family in NC feel or voted about the issue. 

NC courts can legally deny Matthew and me the right to:

• determine the disposition of either of our deceased partner’s remains (God forbid),
• visit each other in the hospital in the event of a medical emergency,
• make emergency medical decisions for either of us if either of us is incapacitated, and
• make financial decisions for either of us if either of us is incapacitated.

NC's attorney general said Amendment 1's lack of clarity will result in a significant amount of litigation on many issues, which will be decided by courts for years to come.  NC courts can now interpret Amendment 1 to invalidate trusts, powers-of-attorney, wills, and end-of-life directives by one partner in favor of the other. 

These are reasons why Matthew and I cannot step foot in NC for vacations and holidays. We will not spend money there. We will not order goods and/or services from NC (that we expressly know come from NC).

This is about our civil liberties, our civil rights, our safety, and us as a couple of US citizens making a life together, "created equal, ... endowed by [our] Creator with ... [inalienable] Rights, ... among [which] are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

This has absolutely NOTHING to do with how any of my friends and family in NC have voted (even if ALL of them voted against the amendment, which I hope they didn't, but have no way of knowing).

This link opens a really useful article with an info graphic explaining state-by-state what rights are afforded the LGBT community.  Check it out, read up on it, be informed, and let's put our money where we're supported!  Let's go places we are supported and are safe!! 

I'm REALLY thankful that Matthew and I live in the US NE:

My birth state is NC.  My heritage and roots very deep there. Over 250 years of my family have been born there, have moved away from there into other parts of the country and world, and have died there. My family's burial plot is surrounded by magnolias and dogwoods. I was reminded of my strong and proud NC heritage today when the copy of my birth certificate arrived noting both my parents as "born in NC". 

I'm actually from "Down East", which is part of the area called the Coastal Plains. Growing up in North Carolina, we learned about the state's three distinct geographical areas: the Coastal Plains (first, cuz that's where we were), the Piedmont (named for the rock under the section and where my grandparents hailed), and the Mountains (the Appalachians).  We also learned about the state bird (the cardinal), the state flower (the dogwood), and the state tree (the Loblolly pine).  It's amazing how little tidbits of useless information get put into our little heads as children and stick with us throughout our lives. Even the term Tar Heel, a siblinghood into which NC descendants are born and to which I undoubtedly and unapologetically belong.  The Tar Heel is NOT (necessarily) a student of or graduate from UNC Chapel Hill, but, alas, modern times have given way to that bastardization of the term. Happily, UNC-CH uses the term "Tarheels", not "Tar Heels" - notice the separation. 

This is a poem about the Tar Heels:
"Here's to the land of the Long Leaf Pine.
The Summer land where the Sun doth Shine.
Where the Weak grow Strong and the Strong grow Great.
Here's to North Carolina, the good Old Tar Heel State."

Isn't that majestic?  Written back during times when people wrote more eloquently and when penning one's pride in his/her heritage or a state-based patriotism wasn't considered nationalism or fascist. 

I love North Carolina and I love being from there. I also love New Jersey and now calling NJ my home.  I really enjoy returning to NC and visiting places I've known all my life. There are few areas of NC I can say that I have yet to discover or visit. I love to have been born in Greenville; growing up there was pretty awesome (till I was bullied in high school and church for being gay to the point that I felt the need to move).

I would venture to say that of the Southern States, NC is probably the most progressive and (dare I say) the most liberal.  It, therefore, really shocks me - and saddens me - that there is a great effort right now to add an amendment to the state's constitution that would ban same-sex marriages.  I do really hope that North Carolinians (not all Tar Heels, I'm afraid) do the right thing and vote against the amendment. Please vote against Amendment One, if you're registered to vote in NC.

It's sad to think that NC won't recognize legally married same-sex couples - even now.  When Matt and I are able get married legally in NJ and we have our marriage certificate in hand, and then cross the border into NC, my home state won't recognize us and many other same-sex couples as legally married couples.  It's disappointing that within the 2nd decade of the 21st century (!!) same-sex marriage is such a big issue. Antiquated, misinformed, misguided Christian theologies are swaying the legal decisions of not only my home state but other states trying to maintain my minority as second-class citizens. What happened to the Separation of Church and State?!

I hope that North Carolina does the right thing. Please vote against Amendment One.

Faith in America today announced a state-wide campaign that will bring awareness about the harm caused to LGBT youth and families to the communities of every North Carolina legislator that votes to proceed with an anti-gay marriage amendment to state constitution.

The NC General Assembly could decide as early as tomorrow on whether to proceed with a vote that would amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage, despite the fact that state law currently recognizes only marriages between two people of the opposite sex.

"Going forward with this vote signals that the North Carolina General Assembly embraces the immense harm that religion-based bigotry places on the lives of this state's gay and lesbian citizens," said Brent Childers, executive director of the organization.

Childers said recent studies, from the American Psychology Association (APA) and one by the Centers of Disease Control have documented a link between anti-gay marriage amendments and emotional and psychological harm to gay and lesbian individuals. In the 2008 APA studies, lead researcher, Sharon Scales Rostosky, Ph.D., at the University of Kentucky, said emotional and psychological harm was "a direct result of the negative images and messages associated with the ballot campaign and the passage of the amendment."

"These studies only document what common sense tells us," Childers said. "Placing a moral and religious stamp of disapproval on someone's very being causes immense and lasting harm to individuals and society. Women, African Americans, Native Americans and interracial couples have all been targets of this vile form of bigotry in the past when religious teaching was misused to justify prejudice and discrimination. Those historical precedents of religion-based bigotry all have been judged as immoral. Yet, a group of ill-intentioned lawmakers want North Carolina to embrace that same form of bigotry today.

Childers said he is hopeful lawmakers will refrain from bringing such harm to North Carolina communities. He said he believes the majority of legislators do not agree with using misguided religious teaching to cause harm to innocent people, especially LGBT youth and families.

"We hope a majority of legislators will decide in favor of human dignity and equality rather than using their vote to bring harm to others for potential political gain or favor. If they come down on the side of causing harm to LGBT youth and families, they will not do so with impunity."

Childers said the organization will conduct public awareness campaigns in the communities of every legislator who votes to proceed with the anti-gay marriage initiative.

"The constituents of every legislator who votes to proceed with the anti-gay marriage initiative are going to learn how these elected officials are promoting a social and religious climate of hostility and violence toward innocent people and children. We plan to reveal to parents, business owners, church-goers and the kids in these legislators 'hometowns the heinous and immensely harmful form of bigotry and prejudice that these legislators are embracing."

Faith in America is a N.C.-based nonprofit organization which works nationally to educate the American public about religion-based bigotry, its harm to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals and its history of oppression toward other minorities in American society. Brent Childers, who himself as an evangelical once identified with the Religious Right and embraced religion-based bigotry toward the LGBT community, serves as its executive director.

Boxing Day 2010. Day started at 3:30 AM checking on our flight to NC. Flight's still on time for departure at 6AM. Cab comes at 4:15AM to cart us to LaGuardia and we had carry-on luggage. In NY, they were asking for two people who were willing to give up their seats for a $300 voucher apiece. We almost opted for that, but realized we might not get into Raleigh if we did that. We gave up $600 of airfare in order to make it to the Lambeth Christmas gathering!

We flew to NC from LaGuardia Airport (NY) The entire flight to NC, we saw only white outside our window. Typically, as we're landing at RDU, you can see miles of trees and green and neighborhoods. That day, this is what we saw:




Once we landed in Raleigh on the "plowed" runway, we got to our gate about 5 minutes later, while another plane was getting deiced (above). This is the video I took of our smooth landing out my window:

Inside the airport before we got our coffee, we looked at the board (top left). Our later reshuffled flight with $600 of vouchers would totally have been canceled. We wouldn't have made it to NC at all!


Our Alamo car was waiting for us and we had "pick of the litter" from about 4 cars. For some stupid reason, I picked the Dodge Charger (rear-wheel drive) instead of any Toyota or Honda (front-wheel drive). None of the cars available had all-weather tires anyway, but it would have been smarter to get a front-wheel drive for the snow. We were tired and it was 8:30AM, after 4 hours of sleep.

This is the car - pretty and red, huh? It looks really good in the snow.

Unfortunately, for this trip, "looks good in the snow" meant "lodged in a ditch on the side of some arbitrary road in south Raleigh"!! That's where I landed us, thinking I was turning into a driveway that ended up being a massive, deep ditch. I couldn't see the front of the hood at first because of the snow drift.



Asshole rednecks in the neighborhood walked by us without stopping to help or asking if we needed help - even after I beeped! One angelic good ol' boy stopped to try to get us out to no avail, so we called AAA. 3 minutes later, Matt jostled us out of the hole and back onto the road. AAA was looking for us within about 5 minutes!!! We passed the tow truck on the way to the hotel while we were canceling the call and told them thanks for getting there so quickly. Hopefully, they got out to help the 30+ abandoned cars we passed on the highways from the airport.

Our hotel room was pretty and the beds were really comfortable! We took a nice 2.5-hour nap before heading to my youngest sister's house for lunch, games, dinner, and games.


We made it to my sister's house and it was a beautiful wintry wonderland!! We spent two and a half days going back and forth from our hotel to my sister's house for family festivities. In the end, we all had a great time (mixing in some dramatic moments where family members lost their holiday cool). Got some really fun gifts and had lots of good food and laughs.

Not to be taken lightly though, the weather and air traffic didn't cooperate with us. Our flight on Tuesday to return to LGA was canceled and we're getting a refund from our trip. Alamo, the car rental place who gave us the Dodge Charger (feh), wanted to charge us $450 on top of a day's rental ($120) to drive up to NJ; i.e. $570!! We switched to Budget instead and got a nice Malibu for the trip for a mere $248 total with an XM/Sirius radio to boot! The trip was quite uneventful, thankfully, and the main roads were completely clear. We ordered a cab to pick us up from the airport and drive us home from Budget at Newark airport - YAY - and got home at about 2AM. We are exhausted and really glad to be home!!

Here are some pictures of the snow and the holidays with my family:

North Carolinians (at least from my part of NC) find it interesting and sometimes funny that out-of-state tourists think of the Outer-banks, they think of pretty much Duck, Manteo, and Kill Devil Hills (the Wright Brothers). Growing up in Pitt County, we were only 90 minutes from the southern Outer-banks (SOBX). We kids went to Cape Hatteras (the furthest north we went), Bath, Southport, New Bern, and Ocracoke (ferry) on field trips and to camps. We never got up to Duck and that area.

My family and I tend to go to the SOBX - the Crystal Coast around Morehead and Beaufort. There's lots of shopping, fun things to do, and decent restaurants. The island with Atlantic Beach is called Salter Path. Toward the northern section of the island is Fort Macon (from the Civil War era) and the national seashore park (there used to be a gay / nude beach there in the 80s, but I'm not sure now). In the middle of the island is the Marine Resource Center, which is REALLY cool. The MRC is also newly redone. It's an aquarium and nature facility with walkways into the marshes and loads of visible wildlife.

The summer months are typical beach months - hot and humid. Later in September and then in October are really cool (literally) times to be on the Outer-banks. Stuff that you'd normally wanna do around the northern NC Outer-banks would probably be closed - the outdoor theaters, water parks, etc. But there are great places to eat pretty much everywhere, which I don't think ever close. Our destination this week is the Southern Outer-banks (Morehead & Beaufort, NC) and it should be a really fun time.

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York archaeologists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: "California archaeologists, finding traces of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers."

One week later, The Free Press, a local newspaper in Kinston, NC, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his back yard, Bubba Yancey, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, North Carolina had already gone wireless."

Just makes me proud to be from North Carolina

Fire destroys 'Lost Colony' buildings, costumes
By Orla Swift, Staff Writer
MANTEO - A fire ripped through the theater that hosts "The Lost Colony" outdoor drama early this morning, destroying two buildings and hundreds of costumes and artifacts.

The amphitheater and its sets were saved. But the costume shop yards away was destroyed, including 70 years of costumes, fabrics, sketches and other artifacts and memorabilia.

A nearby resident saw flames at the Waterside Theatre at 12:35 a.m. and alerted firefighters, according to the show's publicist.

The cause of the fire has not been determined, but it appears to have started in a maintenance shed, according to production and costume designer William Ivey Long.

Many valuable costumes were saved by chance, Long said in a telephone interview this morning from his home in New York. The ornate queen's costume and jewels had just gone to Wilmington's Cameron Art Museum about a week ago, to be part of a retrospective of Long's work.

And the courtiers' costumes are at the dry cleaners and in Raleigh, where they will be included in the N.C. Museum of History's forthcoming exhibit,"Mysteries of the Lost Colony and A New World: England's First View of America from the British Museum."

Long, a former Raleigh resident and five-time Tony Award winner, said this morning that he was less upset about losing his own designs than those that preceded him -- particularly the Native American costumes, which provided a 70-year overview of how historians and designers viewed Native Americans.

"The Lost Colony" is the nation's longest-running outdoor drama. It tells the tale of British settlers who came to Manteo in 1587, decades before their more famous counterparts at Plymouth Rock, but who mysteriously disappeared. The production celebrated its 70th anniversary this summer.

Long said he probably will have to work all year to create new costumes before the outdoor drama reopens next summer. He had not yet estimated the value of what was lost. But he said the theater did not have insurance on the contents of the buildings because it could not afford the cost.