How Dare He!
Jun. 27th, 2012 08:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wwcitizenA buddy from Philly messaged me today in text and on Facebook. His note was about a picture that his neighbor showed him of this guy she's been chatting with from Colorado who's Italian and a veterinarian. He recognized the face right away as Matthew and sent me the picture taken with his phone off her computer screen. The picture on the left is from the girl's computer screen and the picture on the right is the original (same picture) that I took in 2008 during a trip to Newport, Rhode Island:
It's strange to see your or a friend's face being used by someone else on their dating profile. I mean... what the hell are people thinking? When the guy shows up to meet the "person of his dreams", the expectant person won't recognize him!! What's the point except maybe to get free naked shots of the person you're chatting with? I dunno.
Years ago, just after I came out, I realized (naively) that people use others' photos or VERY outdated photos of themselves to entice people to meet them. This one guy I met up with had posted pictures that were CLEARLY 15 years old and about 250 pounds earlier (not disparaging one's weight, cuz I ain't thin by any stretch! But when you say you're 6'2" and 185 lbs and you're obviously, really 5'10" and 350 lbs, that's a pretty drastic difference). Another guy's pictures had been from about 20 years earlier. On both accounts, having enough self-esteem and confidence, I told them nicely where they could put those photos and that they needed to be honest first with themselves, love themselves as they were, and then be honest with everyone else.
Why do that only with the greater possibility of being rejected? If you've been rejected before because you didn't fit someone's bill, be honest with yourself and others from the get-go instead of having to (embarrassingly) admit that you're insecure! I don't understand why people would want continuously to go through such rejection.
Years ago, just after I came out, I realized (naively) that people use others' photos or VERY outdated photos of themselves to entice people to meet them. This one guy I met up with had posted pictures that were CLEARLY 15 years old and about 250 pounds earlier (not disparaging one's weight, cuz I ain't thin by any stretch! But when you say you're 6'2" and 185 lbs and you're obviously, really 5'10" and 350 lbs, that's a pretty drastic difference). Another guy's pictures had been from about 20 years earlier. On both accounts, having enough self-esteem and confidence, I told them nicely where they could put those photos and that they needed to be honest first with themselves, love themselves as they were, and then be honest with everyone else.
Why do that only with the greater possibility of being rejected? If you've been rejected before because you didn't fit someone's bill, be honest with yourself and others from the get-go instead of having to (embarrassingly) admit that you're insecure! I don't understand why people would want continuously to go through such rejection.
