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Change & Living Life without Sabotage
"Change" is a frightful word for a lot of people. Exchanging the "comforts of home" and familiar surroundings for something completely different can evoke heavy anxiety. Personally, "change" makes me want to get moving and provokes thought, activity, and creativity. Change means not doing something that I was accustomed to doing any longer or even adding to certain activities or personality traits.
Change in my life allowed me to move to Germany in 1992, and live a wonderful two years in Leipzig. The first 6 months there were insane - people I met told me I had a wild look in my eyes before I got settled into a new apartment. I had had no idea I had a wild tear in my eyes until they experienced me more settled. Change allowed me to ultimately move back to the U.S., but in NJ rather than the great comforts and nearby support of family members. Change for me has recently meant not allowing true, untamed drama in my life any longer. Expecting, understanding, and accepting change in my life has meant most recently not to put up with bullshit for no reason in a professional atmosphere.
My family, on the other hand, is heavily prone to sabotaging good things in our lives. I realized this tendency in my own life and personality during my 5 years in counseling (therapy that was 3.5 years too long, actually, which became spiritually abusive, but that's a different topic, and I digress). It hurts me to see family members (and sometimes friends) remain in bad situations, stick with particularly enabling "friends" and doctors, and live in depressing surroundings. It's heart-breaking to know my hands are tied. There is nothing I can say - as the next to youngest family member of my immediate and extended family - or exact to bring about change - except through example. That's how I'm trying to live my life - as an example that my family can be proud of and want {possibly or in part} have in their own lives.
Change in my life allowed me to move to Germany in 1992, and live a wonderful two years in Leipzig. The first 6 months there were insane - people I met told me I had a wild look in my eyes before I got settled into a new apartment. I had had no idea I had a wild tear in my eyes until they experienced me more settled. Change allowed me to ultimately move back to the U.S., but in NJ rather than the great comforts and nearby support of family members. Change for me has recently meant not allowing true, untamed drama in my life any longer. Expecting, understanding, and accepting change in my life has meant most recently not to put up with bullshit for no reason in a professional atmosphere.
My family, on the other hand, is heavily prone to sabotaging good things in our lives. I realized this tendency in my own life and personality during my 5 years in counseling (therapy that was 3.5 years too long, actually, which became spiritually abusive, but that's a different topic, and I digress). It hurts me to see family members (and sometimes friends) remain in bad situations, stick with particularly enabling "friends" and doctors, and live in depressing surroundings. It's heart-breaking to know my hands are tied. There is nothing I can say - as the next to youngest family member of my immediate and extended family - or exact to bring about change - except through example. That's how I'm trying to live my life - as an example that my family can be proud of and want {possibly or in part} have in their own lives.